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I had screamed but it was as though he couldn’t hear me or as if it were music to his ears and he enjoyed it. I felt my other wrist and both ankles were treated in the same manner. I recall it so vividly, I still don’t understand how or why I am here though. Or what is happening or who that man was. Seeing the wounds now though I can see a wire protruding from each inflamed hole.My attention is drawn back to Savvy as she begins to massage her fingers into my face, mainly around my jaw, as it loosens as begins to open. I start to feel frustrated, I’m trying my best to clench my jaw shut! Turn my face away! Nothing seems to be working.“Oh Hun, Don’t try to fight ... It won’t do you much good except mentally tire you. You can’t move due to the medicine I was ordered to give you...” She says almost cheerfully as she picks a small bottle off the tray and lifts it, reading slowly “ D-Tubocurarine Chloride “ and places the bottle back down. During that moment I briefly notice Savvy is. The problem with three words seemed stupid now, insignificant and small. I became angry at myself for being so scared of every little thing in this world, for being a wimp, for only having the courage to touch him when he wanted to hear my words too. God, it was so frustrating to see how stupid I have been. Stupid, stupid little hang ups that just make me unhappy, that make us unhappy. ‘Damn.’ I said aloud. ‘Damn. Damn. Damn!’ The remainder of the week went in the same feelings. For the life of me I could not understand why it had been so difficult for me to speak my mind. Such a little thing as that seemed like the biggest hurdle. I felt like I didn’t know the person I was last week, timid over such an issue. Having such a shift happen in the way I thought didn’t change the fact that I kept walking around the flat with half full luke warm cups of tea. That is when I could find a cup anywhere. He came back after that week. I was relieved to see him standing in the doorway, It was.
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